How to Tell My Family About My Abortion

by admin | Aug 21, 2019 | abortion & relationships, Abortion & Trauma, Life After Abortion

H3HELPLINE is here for you. We help anyone who needs support after an abortion. We care about your recovery, let us help.

A common question our Helpline Coaches are asked is “how can I talk to my family about my abortion?” It’s an unfortunate truth that the stigma around abortion has made it a difficult topic to discuss with anyone, even the people we are closest to. It’s a complex issue that has political, emotional, and spiritual overtones. However, if you’ve had an abortion in the past, it’s natural to want to discuss it with your family to get their support. And while you can never predict how your family will react, there are some things you can do to help the conversation go smoother than you may expect. Read on for our advice on how to navigate this situation. If you need someone to talk to beforehand, or simply want to process with someone who understands, call or text H3Helpline at 866-721-7881.

Make Sure You’re Prepared

The most important question to ask yourself is “am I ready to have this conversation?” For many women, talking about their abortion experience can be painful if they aren’t at a place of emotional health and strength. Your health and self-care always comes before having to take care of or worry about what others will say or think.

Next, take some time beforehand to think through what you want to say. Something that may be helpful is to write down everything you’re thinking and feeling. That way, when the time comes to have the conversation, you can have a list of all of the thoughts and feelings you want to express in front of you and won’t be as stressed about what you’re going to say.

Also, it’s helpful to have an optimistic outlook on how the conversation will go. It’s easy to imagine the worst case scenario, but consider that unlike other discussions about abortion, this is YOUR story. It’s not an impersonal story of someone else; it’s a deeply personal story that has affected you. No matter what your family’s views on abortion are, their love for you transcends whatever personal views they have. You may be surprised at how the conversation goes.

Make Sure You’re Prepared

Talking to a loved one about your past abortion is never an easy thing to do, but you can soften the impact by making sure they hear the news in a comfortable setting. Don’t blurt it out in passing or while you’re in a public place, and don’t tell them in anger or out of fear. Again, this is a deeply emotional part of your life to share, and you should only do so when you’re fully prepared to. Think through beforehand what you want to say and where and give them a heads up that you want to sit down and talk. It can also be helpful to ask a trusted friend or family member that you’ve already told to come with you to the meeting to provide you with support.

Anticipate and Accept Their Feelings

No one can ever predict how your family will react to the news. They could be angry, disappointed, confused, shocked, or even hurt that you didn’t mention it before. But even though you can’t know exactly how they’ll react, you can plan ahead and imagine a few different reactions you think they might have and how you would respond to them. The most important thing here is to show them grace. If they’re not expecting it and it comes as a shock, they can react emotionally and might even say something that is mean or hurtful – and so might you. But it’s important not to let this conversation become an argument. You’re all in this together, and you need to support and respect each other to make it through. Allow them time to process the news, and if needed, ask to continue the conversation another time when they’ve had time to process and can discuss it with clear minds.

You’re Never Alone

While everyone hopes that the conversation goes well, unfortunately this isn’t always the case. They may react strongly to the news and need some additional time to process everything. In these cases, it’s easy to feel guilty about upsetting them and be lost in feelings of despair or wondering how you could’ve approached the conversation differently. However, you need to remember that you can’t control how they react; you can only control how you choose to respond.

So don’t forget – your health and self-care always comes before having to take care of or worry about what others will say or think. It takes a lot of courage and strength to open up about your past abortion to anyone, especially family members. Just as they may need time to process everything, you may need to process their reaction with someone. If this is the case, or you simply need someone to talk to, call or text H3Helpline at 866-721-7881. Our After Abortion Helpline is available 24/7 to talk with you and are all women who have experienced abortion first-hand as well. They’re here to not only listen and process with you, but to connect you with resources and community support in your area to help you find help, hope, and healing. Don’t hesitate to call; we’re here for you.

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All calls are confidential and answered by a trained Helpline Coach. The information presented on this website and given through contacting H3Helpline is intended for general education purposes only and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional and/or medical advice. We are here to help you, give you hope, and offer resources to help facilitate healing.

Help, Hope, and Healing After Abortion

June 27, 2025

Abortion is often portrayed as a decision that ends a difficult situation, but for many women, it’s the beginning of an emotional journey they didn’t expect. If you or someone you love is struggling with grief, guilt, or confusion after an abortion, please know this: you are not alone. Every story is unique, but one thing is true for many—after-abortion emotions can be real, deep, and sometimes overwhelming. The good news is that healing is possible. There is hope. And you don’t have to face it alone. You Are Not Alone It’s common to feel isolated after an abortion. You might find it hard to talk about what you’re going through, especially if others expected you to “move on” or “feel relieved.” But if your heart is heavy, your emotions are valid. Many women, and even men, carry the weight of abortion silently. Some struggle with sadness, anger, shame, or regret—sometimes years later. These feelings don’t mean you’re weak. They mean you're human. Healing Is a Journey There is no one-size-fits-all timeline for healing. Some people begin to process their experience shortly after an abortion, while others may not realize they need healing until months or even years have passed. Healing starts with acknowledging your feelings—without judgment. It continues by opening up to someone who understands, someone who will listen with compassion and care. You don’t have to live in silence or shame. There is a path forward. There Is Hope Hope comes from knowing that change is possible. It comes from the courage to take one small step toward healing. You can begin to rediscover peace. You can experience restoration—emotionally, spiritually, and even relationally. You are worthy of healing. And healing does not erase your past—it transforms it. Take the First Step If you’re hurting after an abortion, we are here for you. H3Helpline offers after abortion support and Help • Hope • Healing for the pain of abortion. Call H3Helpline and one of our Helpline Coaches will provide you with healing information. We believe healing is possible, and it starts with a conversation.